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My daughter is home (!) after a week of hiking/camping eastward with friends.
I was not as worried as expected. But my apprehension about saying yes was validated when I spoke with my parents the other day. When I told them what their granddaughter was up to, the first question from my mom was “Why does she have to do it?”
Now it’s clear that my apprehension wasn’t all mine: it was mostly a borrowed belief from my mother, who may have borrowed it from hers or people around her. She doesn’t believe that teenage girls should enjoy an adventure like the one they just did.
So, I automatically believed the same.
We are all made up of and directed by thoughts, beliefs, fears, that originated outside of ourselves. It’s rare that we stop to question why we think the way we do, and whether it’s relevant, appropriate, or even… necessary in our own life now.
My daughter would not have gotten a yes from me if I were the only voice in the matter – because I would have instilled my borrowed beliefs and said no to the trip. That’s what comfortable for ME.
I am grateful that others involved, my husband included, do not share my belief.
Of course I say that now since she is safely home (and had the time of her life). But it reminds me to be curious about what else in my life I am going by borrowed beliefs.
How else am I preventing myself from having the time of my life by saying NO instead of YES?
What about you? What would your intuition say about your borrowed beliefs? Do you want to return some of them?
What would you create for yourself instead that is actually relevant, necessary and important for yourself?
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