Intuitive Tuesday | JULY 28

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shame

I woke up with a sore throat last week. 

I spent an hour watching my mind and my intuition have quite a feud. It went like this:

Mind: You’re getting sick. This is what you normally get first when you have a virus infection. 

Intuition: Maybe you’re dehydrated. Let’s drink some water. 

Mind: No… you drink enough. Maybe you have COVID.

Intuition: Don’t be silly – you have not been exposed and you are cautious. 

Mind: But you’ve heard of people who do all the right things and they still get it.

Intuition: Calm down. It’s just a sore throat. You have no other symptoms. 

Mind: What about the people who I’ve been with – what if I spread it to them?

Intuition: Spread what? You don’t even know what this is.

Mind: COVID! For sure you’ve got it. 

Intuition: You don’t have it. But if you want to calm yourself, why don’t you go get a test. Cancel all your appointments and be certain that you are virus-free. You’re fine. Stay calm. 

So… I went to get a test. 

Within 48 hours, I received a negative test result. My mind finally calmed down, my intuition remained quiet because she didn’t have to say anything more. She didn’t need to. 

During the whole internal drama, I noticed how my feelings went from panic, to worry, to guilt & shame… before I got calm.

What? Why was I feeling shame?

Guilt and shame are feelings derived from thinking that we did something wrong and that we are bad (respectively). 

Nobody wants to get COVID intentionally. Nobody wishes it on anyone. Why would I feel like I would have done something terribly wrong and bad if I were infected? 

The human brain is so interesting, isn’t it? We come up with these stories to rev ourselves up to the point of guilt, shame and exhaustion. We confuse our own stories with reality. We expect the worse to get ready for any possibilities. 

The possibilities that often never come to fruition. Thankfully.

When we truly listen in and trust ourselves, there is peace and calm. Guilt and shame are always optional and never necessary. 

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